Bonding can be a challenge for new moms and dads and for a wide variety of reasons. Mom might have a history of trauma or may be navigating a mental health condition such as postpartum anxiety or depression. Dad might be busy with his work or may feel he "doesn't have a role" when mom is exclusively breastfeeding. Even baby might be born premature and/or medically fragile and require some time spent away from their parents in NICU. However, forming close attachements and bonding is so important for baby, parents and even siblings!
Dr. Steinfeld is a developmental and behavioral pediatrician at UC Davis Medical Center and UC Davis Children's Hospital in Sacramento. She states, "A normal, full-term baby is also programmed to initiate and enter into a bonding relationship. Crying and making other noises, smiling, searching for the breast, and seeking eye contact give cues for a caring adult to respond. When a caregiver consistently responds to an infant’s needs, a trusting relationship and lifelong attachment develops. This sets the stage for the growing child to enter healthy relationships with other people throughout life and to appropriately experience and express a full range of emotions." Just as the reasons for bonding challenges vary, so do the suggestions for cultivating a bonding relationship. Try them out, discuss with your partner and even get the older siblings involved; actively encouraging a healthy bond is in everyone's best interest. Read on for ideas on overcoming bonding challenges and how you are empowered and can positively influence building your familial ties. ❤️ SNUGGLE, SNUGGLE & MORE SNUGGLES Anyone can hold baby close. Rocking, cuddling, cooing, singing, and lots of eye contact are all ways you can physically bond with baby. Enjoy every moment - they go by fast. And the natural release of oxytocin (the "Love" hormone) in response to cuddling increases an overall feeling of good and social bonding. ❤️ BREASTFEED This is probably the simplest way for mama and baby to bond. It isn't always an option for some mamas, but if you're able, breastfeed as frequently and as long as possible. Breastmilk gives baby the best boost possible for their growth and immunity - human milk has been shown to help baby fight bacterial, viral and parasitic infections such as common colds and flus, respiratory tract infections, infant diarrhea and more. Breastmilk's nutritional makeup actually changes to accomodate baby's needs as they grow. So hold baby close and feed away - even dad or siblings can get involved with bottlefeeding (suggested after 6 weeks when baby's feeding is established)! ❤️ BABYWEARING Not only is baby kept warm, cozy and loved, but baby also has an amazing new view of the world. Whether they eyeball the environment around them or catch some much needed zzz's, baby will be with mom or dad, content and safe. There are many different types of carriers from slings to wraps and everything in between. Check out Babes in Arms or Babywearing Calgary for more information! ❤️LEARN YOUR BABY'S LANGUAGE Babies do have distinctive cries - it's the only way they're able to effectively communicate their needs to their parents! Take the time to listen to your baby. Eventually, you'll be able to differentiate between an "I'm hungry now" cry vs. a "my diaper is fully loaded and dangerous" cry. By responding to your baby's needs, you're teaching them that the world is actually a safe place and that they're secure. In the day-to-day responsibilities in caring for a newborn, a bond can be strengthened. ❤️ SPOIL THAT BABY WITH SKIN-TO-SKIN TIME Published in Pediatrics, a twenty-year study followed preemies and low-birth weight babes and their mothers who utilized the Kangaroo Mother Care method. The babies that were given skin contact had higher IQs, larger areas of gray matter in their brains, and even did better financially in their careers than those who were not. The babies also showed lower chances of hyperactivity and aggression issues. You cannot ever spoil a baby; skin-to-skin has actually been shown to have positive effects on baby for weeks after, including their contentment and their ability to feed well. It also reduces their experience of pain, general discomfort and fussiness. ❤️ SELF CARE I cannot stress this one enough. You cannot take care of baby without first taking care of yourself too. Take long hot showers, ask for assistance, eat healthy foods to nourish body and soul, read a book, sleep, paint your nails; do whatever is going to bring you peace, happiness, stress relief or any combination of. When you're feeling optimal, you're able to focus and give 100% to your baby, to your family and, especially, to yourself. Some mothers don't have the supports in place that they need - please do reach out to someone, whether a care provider, your doula, a friend or a co-worker. A postpartum doula is someone who specializes in postpartum care and support. Jennifer Hammer of Sacred Nest Postpartum Doula is amazing and has come highly recommended. Check out her page here. ❤️ AND LASTLY, KNOW WHEN TO GET HELP Postpartum depression and anxiety are very real issues that can interfere with bonding. If you feel, at any point, that you're struggling, please do reach out to an appropriate health care professional. Bonding can take time to gel and a family can take time to adjust to new baby. As long as you're able to meet all of your baby's basic needs and cuddle as often as possible, requiring time to build on that bond is perfectly normal. But if you ever begin to feel less of an attachement or if you feel resentful in any way, please reach out to someone for further support and help. I am here and I am listening.
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AuthorRebel Mama. Free Spirit. Vulgar Dame. Adventurer. Wolf Queen. Outlaw. Archives
October 2016
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